The "Good old days"....

Do me a favor.

No, do yourself a favor.

No, do your family a favor.

Spend more time with your kids.

We all have so much going on in our lives that demand our time.  Each and every one of these items can be considered important.  We have to work to pay our bills and support our family and lifestyle.  We have to interact with our friends to keep us sane!  We have to... and we have to...  By the time we get through with all our "have tos", there just isn't much time left in a day.

At some point in my life I started to here the term "quality time."  Not sure where that came from but it was always used in the context of justification for the limited time we spent with our children.  We were lead to believe that a smaller portion of focused "quality time" more than replaced an abundance of "regular" time.

I have absolutely no formal training in psychology or any of those fancy behavioral sciences, only the experience actually being a parent.  That experience has led me to these beliefs:

1. The time that a parent chooses to be "quality time" will almost without exception be exactly the time your child would rather spend with friends or doing something else.  Say goodbye to quality time.
2. Children will learn very fast what you value in your life based upon how you spend your time.  They see where your efforts are made, where your priorities are.
3. There is ZERO chance that when your children are grown and leave the house, that you will say "Man, I wish I had spent less time with the kids when they were here."  In fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't say the opposite at some point.

I know that I wasn't (and still am not) a perfect parent.  Many bad decisions were made by me while raising my children.  However, every single time I skipped out on an afternoon of work to pick the kids up from school, every time I took them to a late movie on a school night when Jacqui was out of town, every time I stopped what I was doing and paid attention to them was the right thing to do.

Do your family a favor and spend more time with your children.  You will never regret it.

I promise.

Cheers.

I am going to be happy...

It has been over week since my last post and for me at least the week has flown by.  Between working huge hours to get my client's tax work done before the April 15th deadline and the trip I made this weekend to Freed-Hardemen University (Henderson, TN) to see Daniel perform in Makin' Music, I haven't had much free time.

During my drive time this past week (aside... I drive an hour each way to work, plenty of time to think) I was considering 'old' people.  Maybe because I am finally starting to see that I have grown up or the realization that Jacqui and I are empty nesters, I have been thinking about being 'old' and retirement a whole bunch more.

My thoughts on this particular day lead me to the following over generalization.  There are two types of elderly people.  Those that seem happy all the time, no matter the situation that is front of them.  And those that seem bitter and angry no matter the situation that is in front of them.

I know some of both types.  Guess which one is more fun to deal with??

As I thought about this I made a promise to myself that I would not allow myself to become a bitter old person.  I would do all I can to be a "Happy" Old Man (I was going to be a "Dirty" old man but Jacqui won't let me :) ).

I not 100% sure how to do this but I have a few ideas.

1)  I will not put myself into a shell and let the world change around me without being a part of it.
2)  I will continue to try new things, even those things that I have in the past vocally said I might not do (i.e. sky diving)
3)  I will remember that being happy is a choice.  Envy, bitterness and strife are things I can avoid by the way I approach the world.  I control MY reaction to the things that others do.  I can choose to be happy.
4)  I will not let the things of this world entangle me so much that I forget that life on earth is practice for something greater.
5) I will do my best to "lighten up" (Dude!!), when it is appropriate.  I will let go of things that are petty and stupid (such as my life long hatred of Sigma Rho).  No place for that and it doesn't make sense.

That is what I was thinking.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  I know having a hope of heaven is a big part of being happy as I age, but I certainly know some grumpy old Christian men!!

Thanks for reading

Cheers!

p.s. Go Sigma Rho, I wanted you to win last night even if I thought your "Special Thanks" section of the program was crass.

Do I need rehab?

What is up with all the rehab going on with famous people?  Seems like every time someone pops up in the news for some stupid behavior, the next week they are in rehab.

Now I know that there are some addictions that get so deep inside a person that it is impossible to put it away without help.  We all know people who have struggled with things like drugs, alcohol and nicotine addiction.  I am not talking about this.  What I am perplexed by is the availability and popularity of rehab for all kinds of crazy things.  In just the most recent news we have a couple of famous husbands headed off to sex rehab because the cheated on their wives.  So off they went to rehab because they were addicted to sex. (side note..I still haven't figured out how being addicted to sex makes you cheat on your wife.  Can't you have sex with your wife?).

In my simple view of this world, going to rehab has become a substitute for taking personal responsibility for ones actions.  Instead of taking responsibility for their lack of self control, instead they allowed themselves to be convinced that they had a disease or disorder that compelled them to cheat.  They had to head to a clinic to be cured.  To be taught the skills necessary to control this addiction.  Silly people.

While I applaud their desire to become better husbands, they are missing a huge point.  Until they acknowledge that they have to submit to some authority or person other than themselves, there is no cure.  The primary addiction they are suffering from is an addiction to "self".  They absolutely love themselves more than anyone or thing in this world.  While this love of self may be exacerbated in those who are celebrities (with America pandering to them, it is easy to understand), it certainly isn't confined to them. 

Knowing that I must say the perhaps we do all need some rehab.  What we need is rehab from bad decision making.  Rehab from a lack of self control.  Rehab from an overwhelming selfishness.  Rehab from a lack of moral compass.

I'm going to rehab in the morning.  I hope to see you there.

Cheers.

Gary J.

Food is suppose to go in my mouth...

With the days left until April 15th winding down I haven't found a great deal of time to blog during the past week.  So tonight is a quick update about how I am becoming my father.

There are certain traits that children inherit from thier parents.  There are definate physical qualities, facial expressions, morals, values and many more things.  Some of them children are proud to inherit, others not so much.

For many years now we have had a good laugh at how Bubbles (our dog) always gets excited whenever my father shows up.  Seems even she has learned that my dad drops food.  Pretty consistently.  We eat out, Dad gets food on his shirt.  We eat at home, Bubbles is there to grab the food before it hits the ground.

Today at lunch I am eating a chicken burrito at Tijuana Flats and it happens.  A hunk of chicken falls out of the burrito and rolls down my shirt.  So for the rest of the day I have to answer about the stain on my shirt from chest to waist.

Like father, like son.

Love you Dad!!

Cheers.

Gary J